is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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