she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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