toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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