I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
