I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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