your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the day after is always just damage control
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
