He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
