READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Everyone says I win the strip club
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
