The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
