he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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