Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
id be glad to
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
