Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
