We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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