I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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