I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
