Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
