Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.

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  (323): Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy. http://tfl.nu/msnn
  Replies (39) Good night (5390) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

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  (210): Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened. http://tfl.nu/7jhi
  Replies (14) Good night (3184) Bad night (1586) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1005) Bad night (11682) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.

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  (217): Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with. http://tfl.nu/6u23
  Replies (6) Good night (2668) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.

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  (740): Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever. http://tfl.nu/lye3
  Replies (8) Good night (1896) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.

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  (240): YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN. http://tfl.nu/d5pr
  Replies (12) Good night (2303) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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  (718): If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go http://tfl.nu/k79y
  Replies (9) Good night (1523) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  ive cried into many a lonely burritos..

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  (661): ive cried into many a lonely burritos.. http://tfl.nu/4c82
  Replies (6) Good night (475) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.

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  (650): Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget. http://tfl.nu/sye0
  Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.

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  (415): The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican. http://tfl.nu/ke0b
  Replies (9) Good night (1083) Bad night (276) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.

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  (540): We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment. http://tfl.nu/ze3a
  Replies (3) Good night (1421) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.

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  (+61): The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over. http://tfl.nu/0wud
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face

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  (775): By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face http://tfl.nu/uzn2
  Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (189)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.

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  (586): She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her. http://tfl.nu/tkh4
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (171)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.

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  (936): Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA. http://tfl.nu/7tz2
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (189)

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