just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash