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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can only hope to be on your level one day.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I get a little bitchy. We all know that

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga

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