Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

  (850): View more from Florida

  I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

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  (850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave? (850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife http://tfl.nu/5iik
  Replies (86) Good night (38901) Bad night (1999)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.

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  (732): some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america. http://tfl.nu/u0og
  Replies (33) Good night (782) Bad night (4987)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.

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  (321): I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code. http://tfl.nu/ho8g
  Replies (14) Good night (4418) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.

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  (909): i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner. http://tfl.nu/h169
  Replies (17) Good night (2921) Bad night (4572)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?

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  (414): is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons? http://tfl.nu/ve8k
  Replies (24) Good night (1030) Bad night (4561)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

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  (732): Just found my car keys in your throw-up. http://tfl.nu/b21p
  Replies (20) Good night (935) Bad night (8791)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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  (317): He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death http://tfl.nu/foc2
  Replies (6) Good night (3409) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?

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  (662): There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/zwz2
  Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (1715)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.

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  (321): Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college. http://tfl.nu/3u34
  Replies (17) Good night (3478) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again

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  (630): I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again http://tfl.nu/jwke
  Replies (1) Good night (1940) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.

  (940): View more from Texas

  Deal.

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  (281): Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass. (940): Deal. http://tfl.nu/ji2y
  Replies (14) Good night (2977) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.

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  (361): There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work. http://tfl.nu/jgfn
  Replies (8) Good night (1807) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.

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  (334): seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before. http://tfl.nu/yzzl
  Replies (7) Good night (1180) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i hope they name him Joffrey

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  (305): why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much? (908): i hope they name him Joffrey http://tfl.nu/u3f8
  Replies (8) Good night (1251) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?

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  (620): It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more? http://tfl.nu/0gbc
  Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (325)

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