We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue