Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.