at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.