jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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