So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
