So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
