So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
