You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
