she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
now i know why i became what i already was.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
