I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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