Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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