out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
