This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
