you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
