it was like fucking gandolphs beard
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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