I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize