This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize