dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
