I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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