well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
