In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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