I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
