I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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