It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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