the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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