Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
