In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
