In the future we'll all be gay
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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