You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
