if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
