mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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