That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
ok first of all what the fuck
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
