I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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