the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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