I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
