its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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