Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
