I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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