is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
