He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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