I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
