I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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