Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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