WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm at about main and main street
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
