Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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